Miracles of modern medicine

Hi Folks!

Well my granddad on my Mom's side dropped in to visit the other day. Seems he was back in the area after a particularly good year of gathering Naugas up North. Gave me a good price on a few of his stock. Gave me the pick of the group. Course he only had a few in the back of his truck in one of those special mesh traveling cages folks like him use to move Naugas around the country. He keeps most of the others he brings down over at Red's place whilst he gauges the interest in the surrounding communities for some new Nauga bloodlines. Shrewd businessman... only brings a few out at first... just to get folks interested... after he's got 'em where he wants 'em he'll be more forthcoming about how many he's got and how much he's willin to sell 'em for.

Like I said, he always drops by here to give me the first look at his stock. You'd think he'd just give m a few of the truck... me being family and all but nooooo... that's not how he works. Granddad figures he's still got to turn a profit and even though he might give me a good price on them Naugas... he'll only lower the just price enough to make sure that he can make it up by gouging ... I mean bargaining harder with other folks he doesn't think as kindly of.

After looking over what he had and haggling with him for a awhile... ain't nothin granddad loves more than a good haggling session... why he'll haggle over the price of milk if you're amenable to losing a hour or so to that form of entertainment... we sat down on the porch out of the sun and refreshed ourselves with a nice tall glass of strueberry lemonade. We reminisced for a bit... well really it was him talkin and me mostly listening. Granddad told a story 'bout how he went to the local Doc thirty years ago. Seems he wasn't feelin too good and finally broke down after a week or so and went in to the Doc to find out what was the matter.

Well that Doc ran a whole bunch of tests... takin blood and urine and everything that he could charge for... and ran 'em through his own little lab that he ran in the back of his office. Yup... granddad still remembers the day when he went back in to get the results. The Doc sat him down in one of them nice office chairs they used to have back then... looked him straight in the eye... and let him have it.

The Doc hemmed and hawed some before getting started but then got down to it. "I've got some good news and bad news. Which would you like to hear first?" Well granddad's nothin ifn he's not a practical man but nobody wants to hear bad news first so he asked for the good news. So the Doc told him. "Well I want you to know that I found something extraordinary while doing those test. In fact it's so groundbreaking that we're going to name it after you." Granddad thought about that for just a little bit before he replied. "Isn't that usually done when you discover a new disease that no one's ever seen before?" The Doc just shook his head. "Yes...well that's the bad news."

That Doc was all excited about it... wanted to talk a good long time about what'd showed up in those tests. Somewhat understandably, granddad was less enthused about the whole situation. He just wanted to know whether he could be cured and, if not, how much time he had left to put his affairs in order. This stopped the Doc dead in his tracks. Seems he'd been so excited about what he'd found that he hadn't really stopped to consider the implications for granddad. Said he'd have to do a few more tests to figure that part out. So granddad grudgingly let him take all the same sort of stuff all over again... it was in his self-interest after all... so Doc could give him an answer on what really mattered.

Well Doc had granddad come in a week or so later. Was all sorts of apologetic. Seems the second tests showed nothin more than a bad case of neuromatic aschimia. Gave granddad a couple of pills and said he'd be right as rain in a few days. Course granddad being granddad that wasn't near good enough. Made Doc tell him what happened with those first tests. Doc hemmed and hawed... sure wasn't too eager to say what had gone on... but finally he came out with it. Seems his daughter had been doing a science experiment for her class project... mixed some mold-like stuff in with a growth medium and put it in a safe place in her father's lab so it could grow and get real poofy and smelly and... well you know what that stuff looks like after a bit.

Seems she hadn't done a very good job of sealing the container she had it in and when it got all... messy... it cross contaminated everything else that was being done in the lab... including granddad's tests. Gave all sorts of results... none of which were any good mind you... but none of that became clear before it caused all Doc's excitement and granddad's consternation about the initial results. According to granddad, Doc had quite a bit of explaining to do... not only to granddad but to all his other patients that he'd run tests for during that time period. Had to spend a pretty penny to get the lab cleaned up and ready to run again... never mind all the cost of all the tests he had to rerun... this time for free.

Funny thing though... it all turned out for the best... at least for Doc. Seems that stuff his daughter had grown was real good for cosmetic work. One touch of whatever it was on your skin and any wrinkles you might have at that location would just flatten out and disappear. Had a side effect of wiping out any freckles or brown spots you might have in that area as well. Doc found that out by accident when he spilled some on his left hand while starting to clean up. I understand that it burned a little when it made contact but by the time he'd gotten to the sink to wash it off the side effects had made themselves apparent.

Well, Doc wrapped that stuff up and saved it. Worked on eliminating the burning and a few other undesirable side effects and after a few years came up with a formula that he stared selling down in Biggsbee at the drug store. Came to the attention of one of them big drug companies a few years after that. They gave Doc a bunch of money for the rights to use the formula. Made him a rich man. His family's still living off the licensing fees. Just goes to show you that an accident can result in a miracle of modern medicine.

Anyways, I had a real nice sit down with granddad. It’d be great to have him around more… but that’s never gonna happen. He’s a travelin man… won’t never set his feet in one place for too long. Still and all…

Well, that's it for now. 'Til next time. Jon