Binford 9000

Hi folks,

Well since last time folks just can't stop asking me how the Binford 9000 laser saw. Theyse got real excited bout 'em and wanted to know how to get their hands on one and ifn I had anything to do with makin 'em. Seems folks around here have a whole bunch of downed trees and tree limbs and branches and stuff and figured that one of them Binfords would come in real handy right about now. Can't blame 'em. I borrowed Joe's last Wednesday and cleared up some of the stuff lying around at the edge of the south pasture. Yes sir, that big storm that came through here blew down huge bunches of trees you would have thought would stand forever. Some of them been there for a hundred years or so. That wind blew 'em over easy as could be. Tore them roots right up and everything. That Binford 9000 sure came in handy cleaning up that mess, I tell you what.

Wish I could take credit for making it but can't rightly say I'm any good at that sort of stuff. Oh I'm handy with the stuff in my lab or with what it takes to raise Naugas but as far as creating something like a laser saw... well let's just say that's not in my area of expertise. Nope the credit for that falls to Carly Jo Buford. She lives about a mile and a half from Joe Jones. Never would have thought she'd grow up to amount to anything. She was just a little squirt of a kid when she was a youngin. Shy as a Sad Faced Marsip... anybody come to call and she'd up and run to hide behind her mom's skirts. Oh she'd poke her head out eventually once her curiosity got the better of her, guess that's what made her such a good student later on... that and the fact that she was smart as a Blue Eyed Thrasher.

Yep. She was a smart one. Ended up getting a scholarship to Northwest Technical Institute (NTI). Heard she made a name for herself there doing a double major in physics and engineering. Actually got her first patent while she was still in school. Something to do with magnetic containment of high density plasma... head and shoulders above me in that area that's for sure. Got a slew of offers from the big defense companies when she graduated from NTI. Just didn't seem to be very interested in any of them. Came home soon after and set up her own shop at the family place. Started tinkering with stuff... just seemed happiest when she'd bury herself in working on something new. She's got 30 patents now... everything from a solar powered fire starter to a self-refrigerating beverage holder. The Binford laser saw is her latest project.

The 9000 is actually the 9th prototype of the saw. She started with the 1000. Didn't do much more shoot out sparks the first time she started it up. It improved incrementally with the 2000 right up through the 4000 models. All were pretty much just proof of concept jobs... kinda lit up and created a basic saw blade but didn't cut much more than paper. By the time she got to the Binford 6000 though that had changed. She managed to create a stable laser blade... might have had something to do with building a better power source... gave more stable source of power and used more powerful batteries. Think theyse were made out of some sort of graphene mix... but the laser blade still didn't cut real well. It did start a bunch of fires though... kept the local Fire Dep't real busy there for awhile.

Well I heard she figured out the problem was with the photon density of the laser blade. Needed to get it to be both thicker and more dense... couldn't begin to describe how she did that. But somehow she managed it and then refined the focusing of the laser. She finally managed to get it right in the 7000 and 8000 models. Built three 9000 prototypes to serve as testbeds and preproduction saws to see how they worked out in the real world... you know... work out any kinks and effects that might crop up. Loaned one to Joe to try out and well... you know how that turned out.

The other two prototypes went to Sven Tolifson over in Cotter's Creek and Bill Natter down in Barringston County. Sven tried his out cuttin wood down by the lake on the edge of his property. Worked real slick. Cut through everything he tried real quick like. Got a little careless there at the end though. Ended up getting the laser blade into the water. Didn't do no real damage. Kept all the electronics and power stuff dry. It did boil the water there fast though. Had fish and frogs and stuff just floating up near where the blade got immersed. Didn't bother Sven none... figured he'd just found a new way to do some fishin. Heard he's taken to carrying that Binford with him when he goes out in his boat. Might get a bit troublesome though ifn he ever forgets to turn it off before puttin it back down while he scoops up fish with his net.

Well guess that's it for now. 'Til next time. Jon